"The A-Team" - in theaters

I believe that I'm too young to have been a fan of the TV show "The A-Team", but I did know that Mr. T played B.A. Baracus, and that pretty much sold me on the idea of a film version. I mean, anything involving Mr. T has to be great, right? (Please note the sarcasm...)

I don't know how much this film complemented it's television predecessor, but I will say that it was one heck of a fun ride.

You meet the first of the A-Team in a dilapidated warehouse in the middle of Mexico. Hannibal Smith (Liam Neeson) is handcuffed to a chair, getting the snot kicked out of him. He's in Mexico to rescue his comrade, Face (i.e. Bradley Cooper) who recklessly went after a Mexican general on his own. After Smith escapes the handcuffed chair (and why wouldn't he?), he runs into B.A. Baracus (Quinton "Rampage" Jackson), basically carjacks him, rescues Face, then goes to a mental hospital to spring Murdock (Sharlto Copley), an insane pilot. And thus, the four become a team.

Fast forward 8 years, and they're all in Iraq in the last days of the occupation. Suddenly, they get a mission that everyone is telling them not to do, but non-verbally telling them to do it. So they do, then get framed for murder and sent to jail. With the help of Agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson) of the CIA, they bust out in pursuit of vengeance. And this is all within the first 45 minutes.

Needless to say that this movie is filled with action, most of which is pretty spectacular. The only time when I was sort of "meh" about the effects was during the L.A. dock scene that concerned all of the steel cartons. If you see the film, you'll know what I'm talking about.

But even more than the action, I really appreciated the characters. I thought they were all done very well. Liam Neeson is a totally believable action hero, with his cigar and croaky voice. Bradley Cooper was all sorts of tan and very muscular, with a penchant for not wearing his shirt. He was also cocky as hell, and had some of the best lines. Jackson was tough, and I really wouldn't want to cross him, but he's also vulnerable, being very open about his fear of flying. And Sharlto Copley was hysterically funny as a mostly sane man with slightly insane flying techniques.

The only character that I could have done without was Jessica Biel's character. She was purely one-dimensional and peripheral, and whose only purpose seemed to be to give Face some romantic credibility.

So on the CWeave scale, I rate this movie an 8. Good action, lots of laughs, and a shirtless Bradley Cooper. And that's really all I need in my life.

"Clash of the Titans" - in theaters

I love springtime. It means sunshine, warmer weather, leaves on the trees, and above all else, the start of the movie blockbuster season.

I qualify "Clash of the Titans" as the start of this season. It's the first big effects movie of 2010, and it's one heck of a ride.

While this movie is also playing in 3D, I opted for the 2D version for a few reasons. One, I don't think that every movie needs to be made in 3D. I don't need to see Krakken tentacles lash out at me while I'm enjoying my pretzel bites. The second reason I opted for the 2D version is because it was less expensive. I think it's a cheap ploy by the movie industry to charge more for 3D films. And third, I heard that the effects for this film were totally shit in 3D, so I didn't want to waste the money.

But I digress.

Like I said, this movie is one heck of a ride. I found it to be wildly entertaining, and that's not just because every man was pretty much wearing a short dress (I swear, you could tell what someone had for breakfast in some scenes, if you know what I mean).

The story revolves around Perseus, played by the oh-so-delicious Sam Worthington, who is a bastard son of Zeus, raised by a fisherman and his wife who are later killed by Hades. Now, Hades (played by Ralph Fiennes), really wants to get back at Zeus (played by Liam Neeson) for sticking him in the Underworld all those years ago. He plans on doing it by scaring the men of Earth shitless so that they pray to him instead of Zeus, thus making Hades stronger. The Krakken comes into play because Hades tells the kingdom of Argos that if they don't sacrifice their princess to the Krakken then the kingdom will be destroyed. And it falls to Perseus to save the kingdom even though all he wants to do is kill Hades. It's all quite confusing and the film doesn't do the greatest job at explaining things. I was glad to have read the Percy Jackson series because it gave me a "background" in Greek mythology that I otherwise would have lacked.

I never saw the original "Clash of the Titans" in it's entirety so I can't comment on how the two compare. The only thing I can say is that I enjoy Sam Worthington much more than Harry Hamlin. Oh, and there's a mechanical owl in the film for about 10 seconds and that's it.

There was action galore, a black Pegasus, giant scorpions, two crazy hunters, the villain from "Casino Royale", the chick from "Quantum of Solace", a confrontation in Medusa's lair, and a guy that looked like he was made out of driftwood with blue LED lights for eyes. And let's put it this way: it's not going to win any Oscars for acting, writing, or directing, but the most entertaining films usually don't.

So on the CWeave scale of 1 to 10, I give this film a 7. I'll probably own it when it comes out, and since honesty is the best policy, I've got to admit that I would watch Sam Worthington do just about anything. Even if his acting is a bit stiff...