"Machete" - in theaters

I don't know if anyone who reads this blog saw the double-header film "Grindhouse", but if you did, then you should already be somewhat familiar with the title character of the current film. "Machete" was a fake trailer before the first film, "Planet Terror", and it was centered around an ex-Federale who was framed for trying to assassinate a U.S. Senator. The gist was that Machete, the character, was deadly to his enemies, irresistible to women, and focused on his mission.

The new film "Machete" takes the trailer, and basically expands upon it. You see some scenes from the trailer right in the film, which I always appreciate (because sometimes stuff is in the trailer that isn't in the film, and I find it really annoying), not to mention a whole lot more gratuitous violence and nudity.

Machete, played by Danny Trejo, moves around the screen with concentrated purpose. His scarred face never breaks into a smile, even when he's hooking up with hot chicks like Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba. Rodriguez plays a woman running a taco truck and also an underground organization called "The Network" which helps illegal immigrants get settled into the U.S. Alba plays an Immigration agent investigating the Network, and somehow gets caught up in what Machete is doing.

Machete himself is picked up by Jeff Fahey one day, expecting to do some gardening work, when actually Fahey wants to hire him to kill a Senator (played by Robert DeNiro). When Machete goes to do the deed, there's another shooter, intent on putting a bullet into the Senator's leg and into Machete's head. A picture of Machete ends up on the news, and thus, the fox hunt begins.

The film has some political undercurrents with regards to illegal immigration, but the concept is so blown out of proportion that it doesn't feel preachy. But at the same time, I also felt that the ideology presented wasn't too far-fetched, and that's frightening.

This film also made me wonder whether or not Machete was the same character from the "Spy Kids" movies. Not only does he have the same name, he's also played by the same actor. He was a bit more friendly in the "Spy Kids" films, but he still had the same history. I guess I'll never know.

So on the CWeave scale, I give this movie a 7.5. Overall, I really enjoyed this movie. It could have had more laughs, but it was still ridiculous violence at its best. Bonus points go to Lindsay Lohan for rocking a nun's habit, and to Michelle Rodriguez for doing the same with an eye patch. I can only hope that I could do so well.