I soooooooo wanted this movie to be spectacular. My thought process went as follows: Oh, it's Disney. It's Jerry Bruckheimer. It's going to be like Pirates of the Caribbean all over again!
But alas, this movie fell short.
The story revolves around Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), an orphan boy of Persia who by happenstance gets adopted by the King, and spends his adolescence fighting with his brothers instead of against starvation. But anyway, all three brothers and their uncle (Ben Kingsley wearing entirely too much guy-liner) are hanging with the army when they decide to attack one of their more religious cities, based on some shoddy information if you ask me. However, they attack, and Dastan gets his hands on a dagger that seems to be very important to the princess of the city, Tamina, played by Gemma Arterton.
Come to find out, this dagger can turn back time. And before you know it, Dastan is framed for his father's death, and his brothers are hunting him and the princess down. Their adventures take many turns, but the most entertaining is when they enter the Valley of the Slaves (at least that's what I think it's called), and come across Sheik Amar, played by Alfred Molina. The audience always loves a gambler and degenerate, and Molina delivers on that note.
Personally I was a bit confused as to what happened during the film's climax, but of course, everything turns out the way it should in true Disney fashion.
Overall, the effects were cartoony (which was a real disappointment, given the director was Mike Newell, who helmed "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince), and the acting, save for Molina, was sub-par. I was expecting a lot more, especially out of Gyllenhaal, but I was disappointed. His hair was quite gross, and considering he lived in the frickin' desert, a trip to the tanning salon wouldn't have been out of order. Not to mention his accent sounded ridiculous. I mean, I'm just sayin'....
So on the CWeave scale, I rate this a 5.5. And let's be honest here: it would've scored higher if Jake had his shirt off more. But I'll tell you one thing: although it was no "Pirates", it sure was better than "Sex and the City 2".